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    Kiddushin 31b

    Chapter 1 - HaIshah Nikneit

    גם: קידושין דף ל״א ע״ב, פרק א׳ האשה נקנית

    English translation - Kiddushin 31b

    Translation: William Davidson Edition - English. Read alongside the Aramaic below; numbers match the passages of the daf.

    1and this action brings him to the life of the World-to-Come.

    2Rabbi Abbahu said: One such as Avimi, my son, properly fulfilled the mitzva of honoring his parents. The Gemara relates: Avimi had five sons during his father’s lifetime who were ordained to issue halakhic rulings, and he too was ordained. And yet when Rabbi Abbahu, his father, came and called at the gate to enter, Avimi would himself run and go to open the door for him. And before he arrived there, he would already say: Yes, yes, so that his father would not think that he was being ignored.

    3One day Rabbi Abbahu said to Avimi his son: Give me water to drink. Before he brought him the water, Rabbi Abbahu dozed off. Avimi bent over and stood over him until his father awoke. The performance of this mitzva aided him, i.e., as a reward God helped him in his studies, and Avimi succeeded in homiletically interpreting the psalm: “A song to Asaph” (Psalms 79).

    4Rav Ya’akov bar Avuh said to Abaye: With regard to one such as I, so beloved by my parents that before I return from the study hall my father brings me a cup and my mother pours for me, how should I act? Is it disrespectful to accept this honor from them? Abaye said to him: Accept it from your mother, but do not accept it from your father, as, since he is a Torah scholar he will be disheartened if his son does not show him the proper level of respect.

    5The Gemara relates: Rabbi Tarfon had a certain manner of treating his mother, that whenever she wished to ascend into her bed he would bend over and help her to ascend, and whenever she wished to descend from the bed, she would descend onto him. He came and praised himself in the study hall for performing the mitzva of honoring one’s father and mother so thoroughly. They said to him: You still have not reached even half of the honor due to her. Has it ever happened that she threw a purse into the sea in front of you, and you did not embarrass her?

    6When Rav Yosef heard his mother’s footsteps, he would say: I will stand before the arriving Divine Presence. Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Fortunate is one who never saw his father and mother, as it is so difficult to honor them appropriately. The Gemara relates that Rabbi Yoḥanan himself never saw his parents. When his mother was pregnant with him, his father died; and when she gave birth to him, his mother died. And the same is true of Abaye. The Gemara asks: Is that so, that Abaye never saw his mother? But didn’t Abaye say on many occasions: My mother told me? The Gemara answers: That mother was actually his foster mother, not his birth mother.

    7Rav Asi had an elderly mother. She said to him: I want jewelry, and he made jewelry for her. She said to him: I want a man whom I can marry, and he said to her: I will seek one for you. She said to him: I want a husband who is as handsome as you. At this point, he realized that she was senile, and that he would be unable to fulfill all her requests. Therefore, he left her and went to Eretz Yisrael.

    8Rav Asi heard that she was following him to Eretz Yisrael. He came before Rabbi Yoḥanan and said to him: What is the halakha with regard to leaving Eretz Yisrael to go outside of Eretz Yisrael? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: It is prohibited. Rav Asi further asked: If one is going to greet his mother, what is the halakha ? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: I do not know. Rav Asi waited a little while, and then came back to him. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Asi, you are evidently determined to leave. May the Omnipresent return you in peace, and he said no more.

    9Rav Asi came before Rabbi Elazar, because he did not know how to interpret Rabbi Yoḥanan’s statement. He said to Rabbi Elazar: God forbid, perhaps he is angry with me that I wished to leave? Rabbi Elazar said to him: What exactly did he say to you? Rav Asi said to him: May the Omnipresent return you in peace. Rabbi Elazar said to him: If it is so that he was angry, he would not have blessed you. Rabbi Yoḥanan certainly gave you permission to leave. In the meantime, while he was traveling to meet her, Rav Asi heard that her coffin was coming, i.e., his mother had died and her coffin was being brought to Eretz Yisrael. He said: Had I known I would not have left, as after his mother’s death he was not obligated to leave Eretz Yisrael to honor her.

    10The Sages taught: One honors his father in his life and honors him in his death. How does he honor him in his life? One who goes to a place on the command of his father should not say to the people to whom he has been sent, to hurry them along: Send me on my journey on my own behalf, or: Hurry up on my own behalf, or: Allow me to take leave of this business on my own behalf. Rather, he should say all of the above in the following manner: Act in this manner on Father’s behalf, as a mark of respect for his father.

    11How does he honor him in his death? If he says a matter he heard from his father’s mouth, he should not say: So said Father. Rather, he should say: So said Father, my teacher, may I be an atonement for his resting soul. And this halakha applies within twelve months of his death. From this time onward he says: May his memory be for a blessing, for the life of the World-to-Come.

    12The Sages taught: A Sage who lectures in public must change the name of his father, i.e., when he quotes his father he should not mention him by name. And similarly, he changes the name of his teacher. The disseminator, who explains the statements of a Sage to the audience, changes neither the name of his father nor the name of his teacher. The Gemara asks: To whose father is this referring? If we say it is referring to the father of the disseminator, whom the Sage mentioned in his lecture, is that to say that the disseminator is not obligated to observe the mitzva of honoring one’s father? How can a disseminator mention his own father by name?

    13Rather, Rava said: This is referring to the name of the Sage’s father and the name of the Sage’s teacher. This is like that which Mar bar Rav Ashi would do, as when he would teach Torah at his regular lecture and would mention a halakha in the name of his father, Rav Ashi, he would say: So said my father, my teacher; and his disseminator would say: So said Rav Ashi. Although a son may not mention his father’s name, the disseminator of his lecture may do so.

    14The Sages taught: What is fear and what is honor? Fear of one’s father includes the following: One may not stand in his father’s fixed place, and may not sit in his place, and may not contradict his statements by expressing an opinion contrary to that of his father, and he may not choose sides when his father argues with someone else. What is considered honor? He gives his father food and drink, dresses and covers him, and brings him in and takes him out for all his household needs.

    15A dilemma was raised before the Sages:

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    Rashi

    And brings him to the World-to-Come - As he honors him by speaking good and consoling words to him, and he imposes the work upon him with a soft expression. He shows him the imminent need, that they are only able to be sustained by this strain. And the text in the Yerushalmi Gemara (Jerusalem Talmud Kiddushin 1:7:10) has a story about both of them: The story of the one who feeds his father pheasant is [that] one day, his father said to him, "From where do you get all these?" He said to him, "Old man, what do you care, grind and eat" - meaning, chew and eat! He showed him that it was difficult for him. And also a story about the one who grinds with a millstone [is that] he had an old father and the king sent a requisition for his father for the king's work. His son said to him, "Father, grind; and I will go in your place to the king's work which has no limit."

    Avimi had five ordained sons during his father’s lifetime - But even so, when Rabbi Abbahu called at the gate, Avimi would run and open [it] for him and he would not let one of his sons go [do it].

    Yes, yes - I will open [it], I will open [it].

    It aided him - While he was still bent before him; such that he understood one of the psalms in the book of Psalms that he had not understood [how] to expound beforehand. And some explain that he only expounded this one verse (Psalm 79:1): "A Song of Asaph, God, the nations invaded your inheritance" - It should have stated, "A Lament of Asaph." And he expounded thus - that Asaph said a song that the Holy One, blessed be He, consumed His anger on wood and stone that was in His house; and because of this, exonerated the survivors in Israel. For were it not for this, Israel (lit. the enemies of Israel) would not have left any survivors. And this is what it says, (Lamentations 4:11) "The Lord has spent His fury, He has poured out His fierce anger, and He has kindled a fire in Zion."

    [Regarding one] such as I - Since I am beloved to my father and precious to my mother - so they do this from me - what should I do?

    Since he is a Torah scholar he will be disheartened - If you accept service from him.

    Fortunate is one who never saw them - As it is impossible to fulfill [the stipulations of] their honor as fully required. So he is punished over them.

    His foster mother - Nanny.

    You are determined to leave - He reasoned that he intended to go back to his place, to Babylonia.

    Return you in peace - To your place.

    He said to him - Rav Asi [said] to Rabbi Elazar, "Perhaps, God forbid, Rabbi Yochanan is angry with me."

    One who goes to a place on the command of his father - If he knows about the people of the place, that they give honor to his father - to accept words that he would say in his name - he should not attach the honor to himself. And he should attach the honor to his father, even if he knows that they would honor him the same as his father.

    Send me on Father’s behalf - As he needs me. But if the word of his father is not listened to like his own word in a place, he should not attach [it] to his father. For then it is [only] a disgrace.

    May I be an atonement for his resting - All the bad which is supposed to come upon his soul should come upon me.

    From then onward - He already received what he [needed to] receive. For the judgment of the wicked among Israel in Geihinnom is only twelve months.

    A Sage changes the name of his father, etc. - A Sage, who expounds a teaching in public and whispers [it] to the disseminator who orates [it], changes the name of his father and the name of his teacher. If he is coming to say a matter of law that his father or his teacher said, he whispers to the disseminator, "This is what my father, my teacher said; this is what my master, my teacher said."

    But the disseminator - The one who orates it to the public does not change [the name], but rather calls him by his name and says, "This is what x said."

    Whose father - Does the disseminator not change.

    If we say the father of the disseminator - If the Sage whispers a matter of law in the name of the father of the disseminator to orate [it] to the public in the name of the one that said it, he would not change [it]; to say, "This is what my father, my teacher said." Rather he would call him by his name.

    Is that to say the disseminator is not obligated - [Is] he [not obligated] to honor his father.

    When he would teach at his regular lecture - And whisper a matter of law to the disseminator in the name of Rav Ashi, his father - he would say to the disseminator, "This is what my father, my teacher said."

    And his disseminator - When he orates [it] to the public in the name of the one that said it, he says, "This is what Rav Ashi said." And he does not say, "This is what the father and the master of the Sage said.'

    One may not stand in his place - In the place designated for his father to stand there, in the council of elders with his colleagues, for counsel.

    And he may not choose sides (lit., determine it) - If his father and another Sage were disagreeing about a matter of law, he may not say, "The words of x appear [correct]."

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    קידושין 31 עמוד ב

    1ומביאו לחיי העולם הבא.

    2אמר רבי אבהו: כגון אבימי ברי קיים מצות כיבוד. חמשה בני סמכי הוה ליה לאבימי בחיי אביו, וכי הוה אתא רבי אבהו, קרי אבבא, רהיט ואזיל ופתח ליה ואמר: אין, אין, עד דמטאי התם.

    3יומא חד אמר ליה: אשקיין מיא. אדאייתי ליה נמנם. גחין קאי עליה עד דאיתער. איסתייעא מילתיה ודרש אבימי (תהלים עט, א) ״מזמור לאסף״.

    4אמר ליה רב יעקב בר אבוה לאביי: כגון אנא, דעד דאתינא מבי רב אבא מדלי לי כסא ואמא מזגה לי, היכי איעביד? א"ל מאמך קביל, ומאבוך לא תקבל דכיון דבר תורה הוא חלשה דעתיה.

    5רבי טרפון הוה ליה ההיא אמא דכל אימת דהות בעיא למיסק לפוריא גחין וסליק לה, וכל אימת דהות נחית, נחתת עלויה. אתא וקא משתבח בי מדרשא. אמרי ליה: עדיין לא הגעת לחצי כיבוד. כלום זרקה ארנקי בפניך לים ולא הכלמתה?

    6רב יוסף כי הוה שמע קל כרעא דאמיה, אמר: איקום מקמי שכינה דאתיא. אמר רבי יוחנן: אשרי מי שלא חמאן. רבי יוחנן כי עברתו אמו מת אביו, ילדתו מתה אמו. וכן אביי. איני? והאמר אביי: אמרה לי אם! ההיא מרבינתיה הואי.

    7רב אסי הוה ליה ההיא אמא זקינה. אמרה לי' בעינא תכשיטין. עבד לה. בעינא גברא: נייעין לך. בעינא גברא דשפיר כותך, שבקה ואזל לארעא דישראל.

    8שמע דקא אזלה אבתריה. אתא לקמיה דרבי יוחנן, אמר לי' מהו לצאת מארץ לחוצה לארץ? א"ל אסור. לקראת אמא מהו? א"ל איני יודע. [אתרח] פורתא, הדר אתא. אמר ליה: אסי, נתרצית לצאת המקום יחזירך לשלום.

    9אתא לקמיה דרבי אלעזר. א"ל חס ושלום, דלמא מירתח רתח? א"ל מאי אמר לך? אמר ליה: המקום יחזירך לשלום. אמר ליה: ואם איתא דרתח לא הוה מברך לך. אדהכי והכי שמע לארונא דקאתי. אמר: אי ידעי לא נפקי.

    Baraita

    10ת"ר מכבדו בחייו, ומכבדו במותו. בחייו כיצד? הנשמע בדבר אביו למקום, לא יאמר: ״שלחוני בשביל עצמי״, ״מהרוני בשביל עצמי״, ״פטרוני בשביל עצמי״. אלא כולהו: ״בשביל אבא״.

    11במותו כיצד? היה אומר דבר שמועה מפיו, לא יאמר: ״כך אמר אבא״, אלא: ״כך אמר אבא מרי, הריני כפרת משכבו״. והני מילי תוך שנים עשר חדש, מכאן ואילך אומר: ״זכרונו לברכה לחיי העולם הבא״.

    Baraita

    12תנו רבנן: חכם משנה שם אביו ושם רבו. תורגמן אינו משנה לא שם אביו ולא שם רבו. אבוה דמאן? אילימא אבוה דמתורגמן אטו תורגמן לאו בר חיובא הוא?

    13אלא אמר רבא: שם אביו של חכם, ושם רבו של חכם. כי הא דמר בר רב אשי כי הוה דריש בפירקא, איהו אמר: אבא מרי, ואמוריה אמר: הכי אמר רב אשי.

    Baraita

    14ת"ר איזהו מורא ואיזהו כיבוד? מורא לא עומד במקומו, ולא יושב במקומו, ולא סותר את דבריו, ולא מכריעו. כיבוד מאכיל ומשקה, מלביש ומכסה, מכניס ומוציא.

    15איבעיא להו:

    Tosafot

    It aided him - While he was bent over him, he understood and expounded "A song for Asaf; God, the gentiles have entered Your inheritance." For he could not understand it before this and expound it. And some explain that just this verse itself [and not the chapter] did he expound, "It should not be 'Song' for Asaf, rather 'Lamentation' for Asaf! And he expounded that Asaf sang for the fact that God spent His anger on sticks and stones of His house, and thus allowed Israel to survive. For if not for that, he would not have allowed even one Israelite (lit. the enemies of Israel) to survive. And so, the verse states (Lamentations 4:11), "God spent His anger and a fire went out in Zion." So explains Rashi. But there is a Midrash that Asaf said song because the gates sank into the ground. It is compared to a maidservant who went to draw water from the well and whose pitcher fell into the well. She became distraught and began to cry - until the king’s maidservant came to draw water carrying a golden pitcher, and it too, fell into the well. At which point the first maidservant began to sing. ‘Till now’, she exclaimed, I didn’t think that anybody would retrieve my cheap earthenware pitcher from the well. But now, whoever retrieves the golden pitcher, will retrieve mine as well!’ In the same way, when the sons of Korach, who were swallowed up inside the earth, saw how the gates of the Temple sunk into the ground, they proclaimed ‘Whoever rescues the gates will also rescue us!’ That explains why Asaf, who was from the family of Korach, said ‘Mizmor.’

    Rabbi Tarfon had a mother - It is found in the Yerushalmi (Yerushalmi Kiddushin 1:7:7): Once the mother of Rabbi Tarfon lost her slipper in her courtyard. So she out from her couch to find it, and Rabbi Tarfon went and put his hands under her feet on the ground so that her feet would not get soiled; and she treaded on his hands. And also found in the Yerushalmi (Kiddushin 1:7:8) is that each and every time Rabbi Yishmael would arrive from the study hall, his mother would wash his feet and drink the water. When Rabbi Yishmael heard that she would do this, he refused [to do] the thing. [That was] until she went before the Sages and complained about her son, Rabbi Yishmael; that he was not fulfilling the commandment of honoring [parents]. And the Sages were confounded about the thing and asked Rabbi Yishmael. So he told them the story, and they commanded him to let her do [what] she wants, and that [her] honor was in this way.

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    Ritva

    "He received support for the matter, and expounded (Psalm 79) 'A Song for Asaf, God, the gentiles have entered your inheritance'"- Rashi explains... But in the Yerushalmi, he expounded another matter, that since Asaf, who was from the descendants of Korach, saw that the gates of the Temple sunk into the ground, he became happy, and he said, “The One who will eventually raise these gates will raise my grandfather.” It is compared to a poor man’s daughter who was drawing water from a well with a wooden bucket, and it falls into the well, and she cried. The king's daughter then came and drew with a golden bucket, and it fell into the well. When she saw that, the poor daughter became happy. She said, the one who will retrieve the bucket of the king’s daughter will bring mine up as well.

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    Kiddushin 31b

    Kiddushin 31b. The full printed text of this folio side - 15 numbered segments, about 420 words - with the classic commentaries printed on the page.

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    Edition: Wikisource Talmud Bavli · Wording checked against the source on 07/09/2026