Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De'ah 394

<b>שלא להתקשות על המת יותר מדאי. ובו ו' סעיפים:</b><br>אין מתקשין על המת יותר מדאי וכל המתקשה עליו יותר מדאי על מת אחר הוא בוכה אלא שלשה ימים לבכי שבעה להספד שלשים לתספורת ולגיהוץ:

One should not grieve excessively for the dead, and whosoever grieves excessively for him, will weep for another [dead] save that three days [are designated] for weeping, seven for lamenting, thirty [to abstain from] cutting the hair and wearing laundried garments., for it is written, “‘Weep ye not for the dead, neither bemoan him” (Jer. XXII, 10), which is explained as follows: ‘“Weep ye not for the dead” — excessively; “neither bemoan him” — beyond measure. In what matter? — Three days for weeping and seven for lamentation etc.’ ( ibid .).

במה דברים אמורים בשאר העם אבל תלמידי חכמים הכל לפי חכמתם ואין בוכים עליהם יותר מל' יום ואין מספידין עליהם יותר מי"ב חדש וכן חכם שבא שמועתו לאחר י"ב חדש אין מספידין אותו:

This applies to the rest of the people, but [as to] scholars [who died], everything is according to their wisdom; citing RaShBA. and one does not weep for them more than thirty days, (Deut. XXXIV, 8) — Ket. 103b. nor does one make a lamentation for them more than twelve months, and likewise, a Sage whose [death] report was received after twelve months, is not lamented.

יוצאין לבית הקברות ופוקדים על המתים שלשה ימים שמא עדיין הוא חי:

One may go out to the cemetery and visit the dead until three days [after being placed in the sepulchral chamber], for perhaps he is still alive. IV, 4 also RIDBaZ and Migdol Oz a.l.; Sem(H). Int. VI, 4. This custom refers to Talmudic days when it was customary to bury the dead in sepulchral chambers and it was possible to view the corpse in order to determine whether the person was really dead — ShaK. Cf. Sam. ibid. where it is related that it once happened that one visited an entombed person and the latter was found living and lived twenty years thereafter and begat children.

כל שלשה ימים יראה האבל כאלו חרב מונחת לו בין כתפיו משלשה ועד שבעה כאלו זקוף כנגדו בקרן זוית משבעה ועד שלשים כאלו עובר לפניו בשוק וכל אותה השנה הדין מתוחה כנגד אותה משפחה ואם נולד בן זכר באותה משפחה נתרפאת כל המשפחה:

During the first three days [of mourning], the mourner should look upon himself as if a sword is resting between his shoulders; from the third to the seventh, as if it is standing in the corner facing him; from the seventh to the thirtieth, as if it is passing before him in the market place; and throughout the entire year, the judgment is aimed against that family. But if a male child is born in that family, the entire family becomes healed.

אחד מהחבורה שמת תדאג כל החבורה:

When one [member] of a company dies, the whole company should feel troubled.

כל מי שאינו מתאבל כמו שצוו חכמים ה"ז אכזרי אלא יפחד וידאג ויפשפש במעשיו ויחזור בתשובה:

Whosoever does not observe mourning rites as the Sages commanded is a cruel person, but one should fear and be troubled and investigate his conduct and repent. XIII, 12. Cf. Lam. III, 39ff., ‘ Wherefore doth a living man complain, a strong man because of his sins? Let us search and try our ways and return to the Lord. Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens etc .’